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Be True To Yourself Or You Ain't True To Nobody!


As we grow up in today's world, often being subjected to an incredible amount of social conditioning, starting from the very day when we are born by our parents and loved ones, then by the school, by the government, by the media, by our boss.


Images were created on how one should live, what is beautiful, what is socially acceptable and what will give happiness. We are told to follow a procedure of things ranging from school to getting a degree, to getting a good job, to having a family and working until 65 when we can retire and try to enjoy life until we die.


How about the image of having millions of dollars will make us happy, with the yacht in the harbour and the Ferrari in the garage? Or that for a girl to be beautiful, she needs to look like the girls in Cosmo, or have an hourglass figure.


We are all subject to so much of this social conditioning and manipulation that I wonder how many people have a strong sense of identity, that they know what they want?


Not just because it is expected of them by society, but because they genuinely want it.


How many people study for a profession because they want it as opposed to it being the expected thing to do after finishing school?

How many relationships are made (both romantic relationships and friendships) because of reasons like the other person being of high status or having money or means to help you forward, instead of based on true selfless feelings?


For those of you who haven't seen the movie Fight Club yet, it is, in my opinion, the best movie with a message I have ever seen. The first time you watch it, you may think it is just about a bunch of guys starting underground fight clubs and beating each other senseless, but watch it again and pay attention.


"Man, I see in Fight Club the strongest and smartest men who've ever lived. I see all this potential, and I see it squandered. God damn it, an entire generation pumping gas, waiting tables — slaves with white collars. Advertising has us chasing cars and clothes, working jobs we hate so we can buy shit we don't need. We're the middle children of history, man—no purpose or place. We have no Great War. No Great Depression. Our great war is a spiritual war. Our great depression is our lives. We've all been raised on television to believe that one day we'd all be millionaires, and movie gods, and rock stars, but we won't. We're slowly learning that fact. And we're very, very pissed off." – Tyler Durden.

The real message about Fight Club is about letting go of all the social conditioning, rebelling against the absurdity of slaving away to earn money so you can buy things you don't need, to impress people you don't even know or care about.


About truly freeing yourself and living without other people telling you how to live your own life.


"You are not your job. You're not how much money you have in the bank. You're not the car you drive. You're not the contents of your wallet. You're not your fucking khakis. You're the all-singing, all-dancing crap of the world." – Tyler Durden


So many of us think that money will solve our problems, make us happy, give us love and friendship. We believe that to be someone; we need a flashy car, an expensive house, money in the bank, costly and stylish clothes.


"We're consumers. We are bi-products of a lifestyle obsession. Murder, crime, poverty, these things don't concern me. What concerns me are celebrity magazines, television with 500 channels, some guy's name on my underwear." – Tyler Durden.


But what do you want, what do you want, deep down, what does your heart tell you?


Me? I do want the above to an extent; I want a decent car, a nice house, enough in the bank not to worry about the monthly bills and have enough in case something happens to me and I can't work for a while.


I like nice clothes and being comfortable. I want this because it is enjoyable and pleasurable, but this is not my end goal, neither is it my source of happiness. This is the comfort that I would like to have, and I will work for it, but it is not essential to complete my life and make it a success.


What I want is adventure, experiences, travel, friendship, love, family, health, food and a roof over my head. I do not need red lipsticks, eyeliner and drawn eyebrows. I am comfortable in my skin, which I have been living in since my 20s. I do get feedback, and I smile, accept and move on. One question I always ask myself is "Are you comfortable ?" The obvious, if the answer is no, I only listen to my inner voice. Not many people will like you for this. But the choice is mine.


This may not be what you want. Maybe you DO want millions of dollars and to live the rock-star life. That is perfectly fine! There is nothing wrong with it, as long as it is what YOU truly want, and not because you think it will bring you friendship or love or because it is deemed "cool" by society and the media.


The purpose of this post is to get you to think if you are living your life in a way that social conditioning has led you to and tells you how to live so that you 'should' have a happy life with lots of stuff, money and designer items or if you are doing something because you genuinely want to do it and it makes you happy.


In conclusion, I want to leave you with the most inspiring and thought-provoking quote from Fight Club:


"This is your life, and it's ending one minute at a time." Discover yourself with us: hello@melkaurgill.com

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"Each person holds so much power within themselves that needs to be let out. Sometimes they just need a little nudge, a little direction, a little support, a little coaching, and the greatest things can happen."